Searching for Perfection

When I started working at my office now, I never guessed what my biggest weakness would be. During the interview beforehand, I told Mbak Ima - program manager- that my biggest weakness till date would be lack of patience and unable to speak loud if something happen wrong coz im much like other Javanese, tend to keep everything in the heart. That is bad enough when some conflict or misunderstanding happen. Or if I dislike other than it reflects in my behavior rather than speaking frankly about it.

well..well..time really shows everything. Apparently, I was right only on the first item. lack of patience keeps me losing focus on my job several time. I admit that I cannot focus on one job or writing for a certain period of time. I always tend to go from one page to another page without paying much attention only in one job. suck really! I thought that I am a multitasking person who cannot stay working on one job only at a moment.

But then I realize that if I keep on doing this, I will not able to finish any of my job perfectly. There will always something wrong. whether it is wrong spelling, wrong written name, even made a mistake in copy-pasting my own writing!! stupid..superly stupid..

And today..no matter how much I try to make no mistake in the letter I made, finally the mistake is there all along!!! oh God...another missing part again. Like no matter how much I try to correct everything, I always ending up in failing almost all effort. Even when mbak Wenny said its ok..NO! its not okay! I've been living with all this stupid habit of impatience and lack of details for years. I cannot live with this anymore! I have to get up! but hooooww??? What can I do to fix this one? What can I do to erase this habit? How many years more I have to spend to get the perfect note for everthing I write??

my journey to search for the perfection seems like no ending road...