While wandering around my room last night, try to get all my presentations material done in time, I suddenly found a paper. My own writing.. the last writing about letting someone so dear to us go. I sat down and read it again.. I remember that I wrote it after listen to story of friend and then my heart screaming, "you have been in that position too! And you probably might do that again in the future"....
I remember how difficult to actually let go of someone, without asking all questions. Not to mention if we find out that he finally find someone or leaving the city, just after we decide to let him go. Sometimes, that doesnt make anything easier. It made us wandering `why?`... Yet..we have to live on. To move on. To let him go is a must. But we, girl, tend to keep a memory of him. A compensation for being inable to actually let him go. Do we really never able to let go of someone so dear without getting hurt, yet successfully doing it?
An answer came fast... the song from Lior and Sia gave me
I left you out
Inside my heart
How easily
This could be the start
And rip my life apart
Like a bowerbird collecting blue
See me gather words
To let you know
It's hard to let this go
But I'm making up my mind
I'll forget you in time
You still make me cry
Like a song of the east
That loses its centre
But always finds its way back home
How this bird has flown
So I'm making up my mind
Gonna rescue myself tonight
Yeah I'm making up my mind
I'll forget you in time
I am leaving you
You are leaving me
We've sung our song
And we chose to roll on
Although this love never fades
It's time to forget the road we never travelled along
So I've made up my mind
Gonna rescue myself tonight
Yeah I've made up my mind
I'll forget you in time.
======
We want to let go, dear one.. I want to rescue myself
Its not only you leaving, I am leaving too...
It is the time to forget even a dream about the road that we never travelled along
Then, I will forget you in time
just in time before you actually leaving my life
cheer up, girls...we are strong ^_^
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Is it my hand you want to hold?
The moment you enter the room
My heart stops
Not because I haven't seen you in a day
But a glimpse of a girl standing next to you
Lucky me, she is only your classmate
You said that the moment your eyes meet mine
But dear one..
There is a poem already written for you, here..
Its not my forehead you want to kiss
Its not my laughter you want to hear
Its not my hand you want to hold
Its not my presence you want to feel
Yet, I am still hanging around...hopeless and livingless
As if you read my mind, you hold my hand that night
one time..two times...three times...
You hold it so often like you never wish to release it
But today, why being so cold again?
Is it really my hand you want to hold?
Fish Cake and the Falling Leaf
To be honest, I am writing this notes with guilty feeling. Why? Actually, i supposed to finish a paper on low carbon future tonight as I have to submit it tomorrow. But then, I remember when my brain works at its best. a deadliner brain, works perfect from 2-5 am ;P
So, rather than spending my afternoon (read 1-5) in front of the computer and racks my brain out, I choose to enjoy Rits Festival. It`s an annual student festival with multiple stages for music performance, countless food stall and flea market. Rits is changing its color today. Like the leaf which change from green into red and yellow this autumn. While wandering around the super crowded campus with Kisi, I found one food stall that steal my whole attention. The stall is none other than たいやきfood stall, or FISH CAKE!
Despite its simple design, this fish cake is actually my favorite food in Japan sooo far. It is sweet cake with red bean inside. Eat it while it is still hot. nyam..nyam...nyam...yummmyyy.... ask everybody who went this with me to buy this; mas meidi, kisi, hisashi or irene; and you will know how much i love this particular cake. Ooohh... I can`t stop eating that. And what`s the best of all, I finally know that Japan sell the ready fish cake on package!!! So, all i need to do is to fry them and it is ready to serve. YAAAYYY!!! I am on my way to hunt those fish cake packages! hahahahahahaa.....
While to finally find one good food is certainly one thing, to find a replacement for one favorite smell is just another good thing. Back home, I always love the smell of wet soil after the rain. So far as I can remember, I always like to spent hours in front of my house and my boarding house garden after the rain. The smell is so nice and distinctive.
When I experience my first rain in Japan, I couldn`t wait for the rain to stop and smell that one good smell. But I was left with empty hope. The smell was not there. I couldn`t find it... I was a bit sad, but I keep my hope high though. I guess, God is always let us to feel home whereever we are, coz this earth is just one. Yesterday, when I had music performance in Kyoto University, I finally find one nice smell that reminds me of the wet soil one. It is the smell of falling leaf in the garden after the rain. How can I distict that? here`s the case. We had a performance in one building. But we had to practice in front of the next building. Between this two building, there is a huge garden of which trees are letting go of its leaf. And it was after the rain yesterday.. After having to go back and forth between the two building, I realize that the garden has this wonderful smell that keep your heart in calm and peaceful state. The combination of the falling leaf, the rain and wet soil is just amazing. I wish Rits has those kind of garden. I would love to stay in front of it for hours rather than in this one small computer room..
fish cake and falling leaf.. what could be better than this two :)
So, rather than spending my afternoon (read 1-5) in front of the computer and racks my brain out, I choose to enjoy Rits Festival. It`s an annual student festival with multiple stages for music performance, countless food stall and flea market. Rits is changing its color today. Like the leaf which change from green into red and yellow this autumn. While wandering around the super crowded campus with Kisi, I found one food stall that steal my whole attention. The stall is none other than たいやきfood stall, or FISH CAKE!
Despite its simple design, this fish cake is actually my favorite food in Japan sooo far. It is sweet cake with red bean inside. Eat it while it is still hot. nyam..nyam...nyam...yummmyyy.... ask everybody who went this with me to buy this; mas meidi, kisi, hisashi or irene; and you will know how much i love this particular cake. Ooohh... I can`t stop eating that. And what`s the best of all, I finally know that Japan sell the ready fish cake on package!!! So, all i need to do is to fry them and it is ready to serve. YAAAYYY!!! I am on my way to hunt those fish cake packages! hahahahahahaa.....
While to finally find one good food is certainly one thing, to find a replacement for one favorite smell is just another good thing. Back home, I always love the smell of wet soil after the rain. So far as I can remember, I always like to spent hours in front of my house and my boarding house garden after the rain. The smell is so nice and distinctive.
When I experience my first rain in Japan, I couldn`t wait for the rain to stop and smell that one good smell. But I was left with empty hope. The smell was not there. I couldn`t find it... I was a bit sad, but I keep my hope high though. I guess, God is always let us to feel home whereever we are, coz this earth is just one. Yesterday, when I had music performance in Kyoto University, I finally find one nice smell that reminds me of the wet soil one. It is the smell of falling leaf in the garden after the rain. How can I distict that? here`s the case. We had a performance in one building. But we had to practice in front of the next building. Between this two building, there is a huge garden of which trees are letting go of its leaf. And it was after the rain yesterday.. After having to go back and forth between the two building, I realize that the garden has this wonderful smell that keep your heart in calm and peaceful state. The combination of the falling leaf, the rain and wet soil is just amazing. I wish Rits has those kind of garden. I would love to stay in front of it for hours rather than in this one small computer room..
fish cake and falling leaf.. what could be better than this two :)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
When a time to let go someone so dear has come
What`s hurt more than letting go of someone so dear to us go?
Back then, I read a famous quotation
If you love someone, set him free
If he never come back, he will never be yours
But if he come back, he is forever yours
How much is a chance of a man you like to like you back and come back to you after he left?
How much is a chance of a man to find a home in you?
How many roads to take to finally find that man?
and How much is a chance of a man to come back to you after he left?
When we think that we finally meet that man
We just stupidly realize that it seems that there is a missing link.. a missing piece in the puzzle
And he just left without you knowing whether there is or was you in his heart
a friend reminds me that love can be so beautiful. It can make you happy. Turn you into the happiest girl on earth. But love can be so painful. So painful as it can be that you won`t ever think to fall for any guy again
Sometimes, I think that the world is acting on its own account. It doesn`t bother how people actually want to do, have or feel. The world is no different than an old man. He stand so distance from us. Watching us with his old clock in his hand and standing with his walking stick. So firm he stands that he will only laugh at our good and wrong doings. He laugh, and he just left. Like it is, then when we have life that we want without a man inside to complete us, he suddenly appear in our door. Then, he suddenly can give us the happiest moments in our life. But suddenly, life took him back, robed him from us without we ever expected it. Without asking how we feel. Without giving us a chance to reach him back. He is no different than a shooting star. He appears as fast as he dissapears. Left us alone in despair. Left us alone to find some safe ways to let him go. To let him go..
And to let someone so dear to us go doesn`t come easy. It involves feelings called sadness, hurt, desperation, hopeless, and livingless. That`s why, I guess why love can be sooo painful, though it made us happy for some times. It takes a whole lot courage to enjoy the wonderful feeling of being in love with someone. And it takes a whole lot of courage and love too when a time to let go of someone so dear to us has come.. To let him go without asking `will you comeback to me?`
Back then, I read a famous quotation
If you love someone, set him free
If he never come back, he will never be yours
But if he come back, he is forever yours
How much is a chance of a man you like to like you back and come back to you after he left?
How much is a chance of a man to find a home in you?
How many roads to take to finally find that man?
and How much is a chance of a man to come back to you after he left?
When we think that we finally meet that man
We just stupidly realize that it seems that there is a missing link.. a missing piece in the puzzle
And he just left without you knowing whether there is or was you in his heart
a friend reminds me that love can be so beautiful. It can make you happy. Turn you into the happiest girl on earth. But love can be so painful. So painful as it can be that you won`t ever think to fall for any guy again
Sometimes, I think that the world is acting on its own account. It doesn`t bother how people actually want to do, have or feel. The world is no different than an old man. He stand so distance from us. Watching us with his old clock in his hand and standing with his walking stick. So firm he stands that he will only laugh at our good and wrong doings. He laugh, and he just left. Like it is, then when we have life that we want without a man inside to complete us, he suddenly appear in our door. Then, he suddenly can give us the happiest moments in our life. But suddenly, life took him back, robed him from us without we ever expected it. Without asking how we feel. Without giving us a chance to reach him back. He is no different than a shooting star. He appears as fast as he dissapears. Left us alone in despair. Left us alone to find some safe ways to let him go. To let him go..
And to let someone so dear to us go doesn`t come easy. It involves feelings called sadness, hurt, desperation, hopeless, and livingless. That`s why, I guess why love can be sooo painful, though it made us happy for some times. It takes a whole lot courage to enjoy the wonderful feeling of being in love with someone. And it takes a whole lot of courage and love too when a time to let go of someone so dear to us has come.. To let him go without asking `will you comeback to me?`
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