The Warrior of Peace

It supposed to be a normal discussion with Honna sensei, my supervisor. I asked for his permission to not enroll in any seminar class next semester for the sake of my field research. I am planning to do field research for my thesis this year. Taking full two months in Indonesia since i have no obligation to put more credits to my account. And, he said yes. YES!!

What came next was the one that surprised me the most. When Sensei talked about the riots that felt like yesterday for him, I finally found an answer for my long interest on conflict and conflict resolution. I have been so occupied with this topic, that i don't think any economic-related topic to be more interesting. And the answer is none other than 1998 Riots in Solo, my hometown.

Back then, I was just a high school student. third year. It supposed to be a regular day. Taking computer class for 2 hours as compulsory extra class (oh, since when extra class become compulsory?? ). But that day turned out not to be just another day. It was the day when the riots sweep away the city and turned it down for at least 3 days. It was the day when all "hatred" took control of the so-called peaceful and humble city and turned it into a ball of fire.

I remember my mom called me through school phone and told me to stay at school. She sounded so panic when she told me that angry mass of people were marching toward the center of the city. There was no way from me to come back home alone as my home is exactly at the center. Mom told me to wait at school and waited for my dad to pick me up. But the time went and dad called that there was no way for him to pick me up. So, as time goes by, our principal suddenly asked us to evacuate from school. I went to my best friend's house which luckily located nearby. It was so weird as the police headquarter is just right in front of our school. Shouldn't we safe at school than any other place on earth?

Anyway, i moved to my friend's house. And exactly at 9 o'clock, the city was dark. no light.. and flames started to pull its wings to the sky. I was so worried and afraid.. But what can I do? I could only wait for my dad. Thanks God, dad able to pick me up at midnight. Riding his old ugly bike, we tried to cross the city of fire and angry people. Then a shout stop us.. asking who are we and where we are heading. Looking at our face as if we were their enemy. The one that should not be safely alive that night. God has been so merciful.. we safely arrived home.

But the next three days or so, there was no such a thing called peace. There were only anger, anger, and violence. Burning became such an easy spot, even the city hall was burned. A city hall that had been so proudly claimed as the only building built based on our first President Soekarno's blueprint. Then it was gone. Why? What kind of hatred was it?

I still remember all those angry faces...
I still remember the feeling of crossing the city of fire..
I still remember the high tension when people tried to burn our neighborhood just because some people from minority race lived at the tip of the neighborhood.
I still remember all the sadness and worries
I still remember the crying from my neighbor that loose their beloved son in the burning accident...
I still remember those days where food was so scarce
I still remember the figure of my father, stand so firmly with other man to protect the neighborhood
I still remember all...

I remember and I remember
And all the memory apparently well kept all these years
The memory that guides me to choose my work
So, i choose conflict and conflict resolution because I don't want to see more conflict
I choose to study ethnic conflict resolution so there will no more us killing each other just because we look different
I choose to study electoral conflict in local politics so there will no more us conflicting each other just because the result doesn't suit our best interest

There was nothing good coming out of conflict
I hate conflict...
But we live with it, don't we?
We live with it.. yet, we have to find ways to overcome it..
We live with this ugly side of us..
Yet, we also have our good side

Together, we can become warrior of peace
for us, and for our children
May peace come to my homeland..and the world

originally written on 29 July 2009