my early days in japan

After living in Japan just for a few days, I know that living here is just more complicated that I ever imagine before. All things came up at the same time, leaving me to wonder and think what I should do. Its like Im living unreal world here. Sometimes, i just went blank and made mistakes. Some I think fatal and some others just can leave them behind. Having these new environment, I turn my self into a very dependent personality. I depend on Kisi, my new Chinese friend who has been with me since our stay in international house. My Japanese languange skills shows no improvement whatsoever. And just recently, I made mistake, a fatal one, just because I am clueless for what I suppose to do. I do pay the price...

I am lucky though, having wonderful indonesian student as a family and several new friends to help me overcome all these problems. They offer helping hands eventhough they know me just for a while. But yet..i feel so unease. I feel like a burden to them. I don`t know how they actually feel. I guess, I just gonna face this alone. Moving to a new place might be a good start. A place full of sunshine. Learning again and struggle again. I guess it will be painful and hard. But we all learn the hardest way, are we? Living Kisi behind might be as hard as I can feel. But I guess I have too. I start to become very dependent to her. Its really not good. I have to get into my own feet. Oh goosshh..I guess I will make another mistake. again! That`s all i can do, right?? I am just clueless right now..